you're running through my head

you're getting too old to be patient

you yell the words because you're angry and then you yell them when you're not;
pride doesn't allow compromise or kindness and you're afraid of looking weak

you're my conscience.  i'm having conversations with you all the time, laughing with you, asking you questions, watching your reaction in my head. which is stupid really because I can't talk to you for more than 5 seconds without losing my focus, wow your eyes shine so blue

you're going to beat us if you see us

i like that you're not too caught up in your pride to break your own patterns and avoid something stupid

will you ever learn to speak without threats?

you say life is beautiful why are your eyes so angry

its only a matter of time.  patience can't last forever and you've dealt with her for 27 years now

can we talk, please? just you and me

you're on the edge now, I can tell you're breaking down and I'm scared for us if you fall

they say i look like you. that makes me hate you more

DON'T YOU DARE hurt him

you won't see who I am

i love you.  i don't know if she does anymore and
you're hurting me, but still
you make me feel safe, and i didn't want you to, so
you say its my fault, well if thats true

i'm sorry.

I don't want it all to be my fault. 

but no one else will take the blame 

so lets go back to the start, I'll begin and we can go around the circle like this is

brokens anonymous 

please, listen to me confess
I'm praying to lose my stupid pride
I'll take the blame for everyone broken

if we can please go back to the childhood memories that look less like 

black memoirs 

and more like mozart storytime midnight snacks and kittens
i know I was wrong sometimes take my stupid journals search for my sins slap me again pull out your belt I'll take the whipping if you lay off them, I was hard on you too I'm sorry for hating you. I'm trying not to.  And its getting easier to say I Love You.

now its your turn,
stand up,
please,
confess.
just like that.  
hi, my name is  
 ________            
And i'm sorry.

everett mills.