Thursday, July 21, 2022

MIL is watching hallmark

I am not a hallmark movie

my house is messy, I don't brush my hair and I purchased foundation for the first time for my wedding

I am married to a man who is not Prince Charming 

(and I’m not cinderella)

and sometimes we go to bed angry

and sometimes I'm tired at the same time he is 

and it hurts.

"love is meant to be an adventure"

is it?

Love is quiet, a slow gentle hum that is 

sometimes sad

sometimes breathtakingly simple (and I cry happiness)

sometimes so big I could share it with the world and have leftovers

sometimes hurts like 

my ankle,

staying home Saturday and Tuesday and today 

laying in bed at night angry, crying

and it is also precious like

Willy (chubby knuckles fussy hours left-cheek-dimpled-squinting-eyes laugh) 

kitchen swing dances

gardening at sundown



My life is not always Christmas 

drenched in romantic moments and background holiday music

I have not arrived at happily ever after


take a bath in some authenticity

hear the fights

touch the tomato stems

take the fall and still trust your husband 

laugh with your baby boy

stay up through the night with that baby boy

pack up and move

struggle with your mom

learn over years to love yourself, really honestly love who you are


I am living the human experience

and it is 

full.


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