thoughts before homework

 Honestly?

I'm sitting in my apartment alone and my feet are getting colder. My husband's on campus doing homework and I have two assignments that will be due soon and that I haven't started,  so this is normal, of course I'm on my blog. 

we're thinking about buying a house. 

we're thinking about getting a dog. 

I'm worried about my mom. 

My husband's worried about his. 

We're trying to avoid politics because we get really really stressed about that lately. 

If we buy a house that would be really cool.  We're waiting to get pre-approved and that's taking... longer than expected. 

I didn't want a dog and then 3 days ago we went to my in-laws and they have ... go figure, the cutest husky puppies. And they said we could have one for free? :)

My mom isn't very happy and her life seems to have been crumbling over the past few years. My dad is getting remarried and is happy, but my mom has been struggling for what seems like ever.

My husband has family with a lot bigger hurts than my family does. Size of hurt is relative, it all hurts. 

And politics has been consuming. My husband is going into the military and that means working for the government and that they control his life, kind of. So politics and the future worries me sometimes.

I've done some crying. 

But just a couple days ago life felt like heaven... 

we were at my husband's cousins' and they live on some little farms in Idaho and have SO many animals, and they're cowboys and work on feedlots, and are such good people... his uncle makes saddles, beautiful ones from scratch, they have a whole pack of dogs and so many pigs and piglets, sheep, burros, goats, bunnies, quail, chickens and roosters, ducks, a calf, lots of horses, chameleons and a gecko, lots of guns and ammo and puppies, and it was so nice to be there. So really really nice.  

Yesterday during church someone talked about positivity and finding the good as the world seems to be getting more and more crazy, and I was reminded of being on my mission and fighting for positivity and happiness, and slowly winning the fight with a lot of heavenly help. 

It is now time to choose happiness, to choose hope, to choose positivity because sure things are crazy, but they've been crazy before. They've been crazy before for us, and they've been crazy elsewhere, historically; we would be the exception if we didn't go through some chaos in life. Now is the time to be intentional and have hope and work hard, be close to God and still be grateful and happy. I know that God will help us. Life can be so beautiful and people are still so incredible at the times when things seem to be falling apart. I don't want to be blind and feeling down in such a beautiful world with good people, and especially with a perfect Savior. The good is real and powerful. The world is getting crazier, so maybe it's even more important to have "eyes to see" -- eyes that see good, that see God, beauty, opportunity, and happiness.